Finding Stroke

The soft grass crushes beneath
The feet that floats
The path leads to home
Where the sky and earth meets
And where the only sound
Is my heartbeat.

Temporary Arrangement

I have become a different person in just three weeks. This I realized while my feet are soaked in the crystal clear waters of Bantayan.

Here, it's all work. Here, I have to put up a face that will not back down regardless of whatever has been thrown my way. It's part of the package.

What's important is knowing that this is not permanent, a temporary set up, and at the end of the day, I still know who I am.

Tall order. But being here gave me good grasp of myself, of who I have become. It may have been a mixture of laughter and tears, not exactly of the same proportions, but I learn from every crack and from every drop. I wake up at dawn with things clearer now, and with more determination than ever.

This may be a test for me, and to get a passing mark, I have to be that person for the time being.

Bantayan Island Getaway

It has been on my list of must-go-to places for years now and to finally set foot on the pristine white sands of Bantayan Island, wow! I couldn't exactly describe the feeling.

All I wanted was to getaway from it all for a while, to seek refuge from the noise that is work that has kept me on my toes and has never failed to leave me gasping for breath at the end of the day. I got more than what i wished for. The weekend at Bantayan gave me the time to think things over - work, goodbyes that have been said, excess baggages, my silence. Walking along the white stretch cleared my head of clutter. And yeap, it was a weekend all on my own with just the sand, the sea, a gray tabo and Haruki Murakami's South of the Border, West of the Sun to keep me company.

And I am still in awe. =)

And...

Creativity flowing freely.
Honesty.
Lots of laughter.
Freedom of the spirit.

I miss these too.

Missing

I have been putting off writing in this blog because of the series of (un)fortunate events that banged my door this month. I know I should feel lucky that I am away from the hustle and bustle of Manila. But honestly, I don't.

Before the plane took off for Cebu last September 5, I already braced myself with the possibility of staying here longer. But nothing beats reality when it was said that I'll be here for a month or so. There is so much to do and so little time to really enjoy what the city has to offer. Well, I came here for work in the first place so I have to do what I have to do.

I am getting homesick. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss the gulo of Manila. I miss home.

Steady In Between

Although so much is happening all at the same time, I refuse to dwell on the negative and focus on what needs to be done first. I don't want to sink and not be able to swim back to the shore. It's a been there, done that thing. It was exhausting, and I see no point in going back.

So amidst all the rush for the long overdue Cebu trip on Tuesday and all the noise that has been been circulating in my air, I am in a steady state. I choose to be. And I am sticking by my choice. I guess I'm just probably over that stage of whinning and ranting over the same things time and again. And guess what? Nothing happens when do that. Everything remains the same.

Well, things are a little better. And I am learning to live without my security blanket wrapped around me. It has been awhile and what happened was inevitable. I saw it coming last year, and I guess, facing it now than later on in life is doing me some good.

Although I can't honestly say that I am happy, I know I don't have regrets. I often tell myself that this is a one day at a time thing. No need to pressure myself. I know I will be okei. I have that much faith that things will get better.

And as I have said, when we need to find the path, the light leading to it shines the brightest.