i blew the candle out just to get back in

it wasn't a really clever move. but when you want to test the waters to see if you're going to drown, you have to get yourself into the water. luckily, i was quickly back to the shore before i find myself totally sinking in.

now, i am no longer waiting. i found a way not to wait, trusted my instincts, and made my move. and this is the case where my impatience helped me decide which road to take.

and honestly, i wasn't surprised with my decision. i just probably needed that mind-boggling waiting game to kick some sense out of me. it wasn't a painful kick, just a what-the-heck-are-you-thinking kind of kick. it was enough to jolt me back from those sleepless nights.

yeah, i blew the candle out just to get back in. i found another match for the light. too bad the rains soaked the light wet, and i am okei with it. it's time to look for another match.

seriously, what was i thinking?!?

waiting

all the day, my head keeps playing the "waiting" soundtrack

waiting in vain?

waiting game?

waiting to exhale?

it's a great test for my patience. i am trying my darn best to hold on and think that i will be rewarded for my patience. but seriously, i'm hanging by a thread. and the waiting is slowly killing me.

oh, and the "waiting" soundtrack is related to my foolish heart. not by accident, that i can guarantee.

an ode to writing

it seems like an eternity since i last wrote something that may not even be considered as writing. yeah, it has been a really long while, and boy, it feels that writing and me have moved to opposite ends that we're practically strangers.

i have had several attempts to reconcile and meet halfway. but everytime i come close, something gets in the way. on certain occasions, i have just become either too lazy to bother making a move towards reconciliation or too exhausted to even think about it.

but deep down, i know a part of me is missing.

i miss writing, and i'm not going to make promises to make amends or to cut down the distance that separates us. but i just have to make it clear that i miss writing.

big time.