While It Still Is

I should be at a loss right now. I should be putting that panic button and pounding on heaven's door to rescue me. I should be running away, far away from this place where I am.

But I am not doing any of these. Surprisingly.

I am still in a steady state.

Or I am in a state of denial.

But while it is still good, I am taking what I can get. And when that time comes I do need to hit that button, I pray that someone will be there to come running after me.

And so....

The silence simply means that I have been really busy to sit and type away my thoughts. It's a range between chaos and pure bliss. Sometimes I just stop and stare at some thing but my mind is flying to that never after. And in my stopping and staring, I had to keep myself from laughing at the promises made when all were green and blue. If we really look into it, the shades have become a little pale. But definitely not gray.

And so the cynic in me was caught off guard. Not a lovely sight I'd say. But then, aren't we entitled to certain bad days? The weather at times would even agree with me. And on certain days when all is good, I take my shoes off and dance to Madonna's Borderline. Now, this is a definite must see.

But when all has turned in and the lights run low, I go back to that never after and wish that one day, when my hair has turned to gray, I'd still be walking down the street with my hand being held.