All is Flat and Red

Smooth. Silky. Feverish.

And I need a trip to the rough seas and a dose of cold water to wake me up from this endless dream. Almost but not quite. I am taking nothing with me, just this piece I call soul, bared to the bones and scarred to the core. Seems like I just hit jackpot with my combination. Instant millionaire I should be. But I know better.

This is not perpetual. A regular one night stand gone heavy and sweet, whipped cream topped with cherry. Perfect. Too good to be true. And I am loving it.

After all, I am the here and the now. That's all there is. No shape. No color. No scent. No sound. Just presence.

A treat to the soul that has found its way home.

Coming to a Close

I have long waited for the return flight home. It all seems surreal. But I am glad I can finally walk away from all these, with my head unbowed, my heart unfazed, my spirit unrelenting.

And with me learning more about myself and about truths that will never fade away.

I learned to get by and live each day through constant communication with the people I hold dear, my family and my friends. They have never let me down when I'm almost on the brink of losing it. Instant cheerleaders. Sanity check. Loads of love and respect. I've been burning phone lines just to hear a familiar voice, someone I can connect with, someone who knows the real me. And every time I end a call, I am renewed.

I learned to keep it cool even when things are smoking hot. They say patience is a virtue, and I have always been known as one who runs low on patience. Looking back, I have never seen myself so composed, and my tongue in check. There were times when I was often left without much choice but to answer back. I did not. I still believe in diplomacy and killing people in kindness. Recently though, I gave a mouthful. Yeah, I still know when and where to draw the line. After all, I am no saint.

I learned to not forget that where I am is not permament, a passing thrill of an even bigger, more exciting picture. This has just prepped me up for the greater adventure waiting to unfold. But I have not forgotten that whether permanent or not, every waking moment is an enriching experience. The good, the bad, and the in between are what nourishes the soul.

I learned to hold on tightly to my faith. It anchors me to a steady state, keeping me grounded and humbled.

And as my curtain closes on this stage, I can only heave a sigh of relief, whisper a prayer of gratitude, and probably, shed tears of joy.

I am coming home.

My Sky

Photo taken around 5:55 am at the CAP Complex in Cebu.

Survival

It is humbling for me to be taken away from my comfort zone and be put in a situation where the odds are 5 to 1. The whole experience often brings me to tears, and sometimes, they just fall freely out ouf sheer exhaustion. Sometimes, in amazement of the road that I have travelled so far.

In every uncertain moment, I find my balance in the people I love.

In every fall, I hold on to my faith.

In every tear, I wipe with memories of happy moments.

One

Weekends have been my source of liberation and cheap thrills, a gift to myself for all that comes in between the crack of dawn and the moonlit nights. I was asked whether I'm burned out or I'm enjyoing every minute of it. It's a little of both.

It has not been a walk in the park for me, and I count each day that I have braved through the battlefield as a blessing.

And today, I mark my first month on hostile grounds.

In Awe

For the second time, I found myself at a loss for words simply because words are not enough to describe the Kawasan Falls experience.

I saw nature at its finest - lush greens, crystal clear water, fresh air.

And being one with nature more than took my breath away.

As I sat on the raft and stared at the gushing waters, I felt peace.

Everything will be alright.